It starts with you.

it-starts-with-you

I had a revelation recently. It’s what what set the wheels in motion of the revamping of Tunns of Love. 

After reading a book over the Christmas/New Year period (which I promise to review v soon as it is awesome), Daring & Disruptive by the AMAZING Lisa Messenger (bit of a fan over here), I came to the realisation that – I had to make dreams into reality. Wow – I know this isn’t rocket science but of late it has really hit home. If I want areas of my life to be different or outcomes to be different, I actually need to invest the time and effort to make them different. Nothing is going to just magically happen which I think I have been guilty of sometimes believing would. I am actually going to have to work. 

I am going to be really honest here and say the problem for me has always been the doing part. I read recently that we have two selves. The now self and the future self. The now self is the procrastinator (that’s me), the I want to do the good/fun stuff now self. While future self is the one who basically reaps the benefits or lack there-of, from now self. If now self does nothing, future self suffers. So when now self would rather be on Pinterest procrastinating work or study or praying or being generous or putting off calling that person they know they will get stuck talking to for an hour, its future self that fails to reap the rewards. Its future self that misses out on the promotion, pay rise or relationship. 

So how do we make now self do what is best for future self. How do we stop future self from being disappointed? I am a spiritual person so I am going to look at it from a Godly perspective but even if you’re not spiritual I think the same thought process would be just as helpful. 

1. Having a clear vision of future self 

We all have dreams, I believe they are God given. Regardless of where you believe they come from – you can’t deny they are there. It might be a specific profession, it might be a business idea, or a book you want to write or it might be to parent differently, to be a better friend, employee or family member. Whatever your dream might be, it has been placed on your heart and in your mind for a reason. 

If we have a clear vision of our future selves living out that dream, we are more likely to build a stronger connection to it. A stronger desire to make it a reality.

A pastor at a women’s conference I attended spoke about the impact of our thoughts on our future. We all know about self fulfilling prophesies – what we think, we become. But what I really loved was how she mapped it out – our thoughts become our words, words become our character, character becomes our destiny. 

If we have a clear vision, and focus our thoughts on that vision, it will flow through to our lives.

2. Evaluating the gap

So how do you get there? It would be great if change could happen overnight but it will more often than not take time and will need to be planned. By working backwards and identifying the steps needed to be taken to get from where you are now to your dream, you can start to build yourself a roadmap. Do you need special training, to learn a new language, maybe you need a mentor or to consult someone else who has already done what you want to do etc. Breaking it down into smaller task will not only help to make that dream feel more achievable but will also allow you to experience the feeling of accomplishment as you complete each step. Spurring you on the do the next one!

3. Coming to terms with the effort = reward.

The only way that future self is going to reap any rewards is for now self to do the hard yards – well now! Having action after the vision is just as important as having the vision. One without the other is frivolous. 

The problem is we often don’t want to wait for the reward. But a big dream, often takes time to be turned into a big reality. And while it’s totally worth it, it’s human nature to put things in the “too hard basket, or on the “I’ll do that later pile”. This is why it so important to have a strong vision! Constantly referring our minds back to our dream, revisiting what we want to achieve and how we want to feel when we get there, is what we need to drive us to put in the effort. Acknowledging that the reward IS coming, it might not be instantly but it IS coming! 

4. Start! Go do.

Don’t think about “I don’t have time”, “maybe later in the year when I am on holidays.” Don’t do that to future self, remember your dream. Remember what it looks like for you when that dream is reality. And now start – even if it is some internet research, making some inquiries, talking to your partner. It doesn’t have to be a big step – just take a little one and start on your journey.

“Little by little, one travels far” – J.R.R Tolkein

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